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Four years ago today

I dont want to dwell in the past, but today I did for a moment. I know I am not alone in this journey, as many others have experienced loses in different degrees. I could go on about the pain, the valley, the uncertainties, the questions, the whys, but I want to highlight the good that is coming from these last years.

I had Timothy for almost seven years, six years, seven months and three days. I felt cheated when he was taken, but then I realized, I had a child to love and care for almost seven years. He was healthy, hardly ever had to see a doctor.  It is so true that people will come into our lives, some to stay for a very long time, others to fade away or suddenly dissaepear. Today, I look at people as a gift to me for a season, hopefully a long one.

I had Julie for fifteen years. We dated three years and were married almost twelve. I learned about loving unconditionally. We did not always agree, but we learned to love in spite of our temperaments and styles. Julie was on a debating club in college, so some heated arguments took place at times in the Kurrle home, which led us to both learn the virtue of dialogue, sharing and hearing out each others heart. Today I try to listen more and hear peoples heart.

I like making plans. When the accident took place many, many plans when up in flames, into the land of no return. I realized how fragile our human predictions, plans and structures are.  Today I plan, but I dont get too uptight if my plans dont exactly happen as I intended. I go with the flow a bit more.

In the next months and years, I want to write more and more about the present and future. I want to share with you the joys of my new family and how things are going as I raise my new kids.  Although Nancy is a more private person, I want Nancy to be the woman God has called her to be. I want to do everything in my power to help her become everything God has in mind for her. I want Mark, Nicole and Anahi and soon Dominick grow into men and women of faith, no matter what profession they choose to follow.

I want to love like the first time, with the same passion, and intensity. I want to continue dreaming new dreams and if I am blessed with a long life, one day look back and thank God for allowing to get up and walk, flow in his grace one more time.

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