A little over one hour into our trip, on April 18th, 2012, the accident happened. Everything changed dramatically since. The first months were mere survival, struggling between getting up in the morning, asking hundreds of questions, working out all the legal aspects of the accident, and trying to do the job of two. Some days getting thru the next hour seemed overwhelming. Two years have passed since that dark morning. This week I have given myself some space and intentional time to process another layer of what happened. My hope is to bring more closure and healing.
Julie was not a complainer. She found daily strength in her devotional time. She would take a day every week to fast and pray for her family, future kids and the various ministries she was involved. Often I woke up at 4 AM and Julie was reading her bible or on her knees praying. She seemed to be caring a burden for others at various seasons of her life.
Its unique that this anniversary falls during good Friday. This is a day that symbolizes pain, love, forgiveness to millions who believe in Jesus Christ as the incarnate son of God. Gods willingness to give up his only son and see the pain before and during the moments on the cross is beyond me. This act of God alone, transcends all reasoning and should be enough to draw us into His presence. His love goes beyond the best written theology or the most self sacrificing acts of any human being.
Fathers and mothers who have lost a beloved son/daughter, know very well the human pain involved. It does not seem fair, it goes against all logic. Timothy was the joy of our home. He welcomed Julie and me to the world of parenthood. All I wanted to do is spent time with Timothy. And we did spent a lot of time together. The night before the accident we still shot a home made cannon which we had built following a YouTube tutorial video. We had so much fun with that.
Timothy's lights was snuffed out too early for me, but perhaps in Gods ordained time. I feel that Timothy represent so much unfinished work for me. I had all the desire and will to raise him, help shape him and one day see him get married, and take off with his own wings. I loved this kid soo soo much.
I must end by saying, I recognize that Julie and Timothy will never be back on this earth. But I am not hopeless because God has given us the promise of eternity which is the longing and quest of every human being. He promised us a new heaven a new earth. He promised us He would be preparing a home. He is the beginning and the end of all things. And He promises us He will be with us until the end of times.
So as the future unfolds and new memories, people and activities occupy Anahi and myself, we will trust and continue to zoom into the glimpses of eternity displayed in creation in the people around us and my relationship with HIM.