Looking back - 2014 A year of healing

2014: A Year of Healing

Fifteen years ago, in 1999, Julie and I were making wedding plans. We were in seminary, and the big news was about Y2K. Still in school, we wondered what the future would bring after we finished our degrees.

In August 2000, Julie and I were married. We were both so excited about beginning a joint future together. A few months later, we embarked on one of the longest possible drives on Earth. We drove for a period of 70 days, crossing 13 countries to arrive in Paraguay, exhausted but excited to begin our lives as full-time missionaries.

As I look back, I realize just how much we were able to enjoy and do as a family over this past decade:

Between 2002 and 2010, we helped pioneer and direct what was, until recently, the only Christian radio station in southern Paraguay. Today the station is self-supportive and under national leadership, and is now launching into television.

Between 2002 and 2012:

·        Dozens of teams served in construction, teaching, and training. Classrooms and churches were built, and the people here were empowered by these teams.  

·        Resources were delivered to ministries and leaders. The largest purchase was the transmitter for the radio station.

·        Young people were hosted for short- and long-term internships, and now serve in missions locally and internationally.

·        Dozens of motorcycles were delivered to national pastors and leaders across the country.

·        An interdenominational prayer breakfast was started. Pastors come to enjoy good food, to fellowship, and to pray together.

Between 2004 and 2011, we helped establish the Paraguay Children of Promise, a child sponsorship program. Today, more than 100 kids in various locations in Paraguay and Argentina are benefited. Julie had been training Sandra who, one year before the accident, took on leadership of the program.

Between 2007 and 2010, we had the privilege of building our own home with help from friends, an inheritance, and a mortgage.

Between 2009 and 2013, we began ICCI, a training and discipleship center. I stepped down as director after the accident. Five students who began at ICCI will soon graduate from a sister Bible-training school.

Between 2011 and 2013, we became interim pastors at a local church. We were asked to help transition the church after a painful past. Today, a congregation of more than 200 is moving forward, strong under the leadership of their new pastors.

Between 2002 and 2012, I learned to love one woman, who brought out the best in me, who made me a husband and a father, and who inspired me to dream and never quit. I treasure the life we had and thank God for allowing me 12 incredible years with Julie.

Between 2005 and 2012, I learned to love and care for my first son. This boy gave me tremendous joy to his very last hours on this earth. His inquisitive spirit is a legacy that spurs me into a new chapter every day since the accident.

Between 2010 and 2011, Julie and I went through the adoption process to become the proud parents of Esther Anahi, who brought so much joy into our lives.

Since 2011, I have had the privilege of being the father of the cutest little blonde, who gives me kisses and hugs every single day. She is a reminder that life continues, and that love exists.

Since 2012, my sister Nila has blessed us with her presence. She has become like a mother to Anahi, and has accompanied me in my darkest moments. I am excited for her upcoming wedding on February 28^, 2015.

Every day since that very dark morning in April 2012, I have been picking up the pieces and gradually crawling out of the deep pain. Healing is slowly happening, joy is returning, and I am beginning to dream and hope about a pleasant and exciting future.

As I look back on 2014, I can see that it was a year of healing. I intentionally retreated, taking a sabbatical season to rest, explore, be present in Anahi's life, and ask some life-changing questions. I stepped away from all major activities to focus on my inner life, and on letting the rhythms of life determine my pace. Getting to this point, even just acknowledging the need to carve out space, has been a slow process, but it’s a process that's probably saved my life.

My hope is that future newsletters will reflect more and more new plans, new activities that I hope will spring out of the new life and restoration that I am experiencing. 

Prayer and Fasting

I felt led today to take the day to pray and fast. I believe we all know the power of prayer, but often have a hard time exercising prayer. I am very guilty. There is no need to quote a list of scriptures about how prayer was a part of Jesus ministry and how it can make a difference in our daily living.

Two interesting things happened already in the past two hours. One, I felt prompted to go and encourage my neighbor and remind him that he is not alone. His wife left him for another man, a year ago. He is grieving alone and trying to make sense of the live he has to face right now. I rode my motorcycle to his place and took a few minutes to talk with him. With teary eyes he told me about his kids, bills and hardships. He thank me for coming and for sharing time with him. I realized after coming back home, how easy it is to pass by people close to us and not realize how much pain they might be going thru.

The second incident has to do with Julie. I felt prompted to let go of her phone number. It might sound silly, but I have kept her phone, and paid a reduced ($2) monthly fee almost three years now for her phone just to keep her line active. For months after the accident, I lived in denial, as if I was expecting a call from her any minute. I wanted to believe it was a dream which I would wake up one day and everything was going to be alright. I loved when she called me. I had a special song programmed, designated to calls coming from Julies line, 0985-189-535. That was Julies number for almost a decade. I let it go today.

In letting go of the past, I realized that expecting a phone call from Julie was totally unrealistic. But I think it provided a link between us. I needed something tangible I could hold on to. So I went to the my phone service provider and asked them to cancel Julies phone subscription. I am not sure why I waited this long, but I believe this was the day to do it. And I also believe there is a connection with this day being a day of prayer and fasting. God seems to nudge me in days like these to take steps of faith.

I realized too, that today is the 18th. It marks two years and seven months since the accident.

Nila: sister, aunt, mother. For such a time as this.

Nila is my youngest sister. I am the oldest son, followed by Mark, then Priscila, and finally Nila. One day after the accident, Nila said to me, "Norberto, if you need me, I am here." My mind was foggy; I could not make rational decisions. I must have said, "Come and stay with me for a while." That same week she moved out of her apartment and into my house, where she lives to this day.

During her time with us, Nila has become an important role model for Anahi. We all cried together that first year, almost every day. She has

cared for Anahi when I needed to go on trips or attend meetings. She has done grocery shopping, cooked meals, and cleaned up after Anahi.

While others have given financially, prayed, and loved on us, Nila has given almost three years of her life to serve her brother and niece. I thank God for the loving family he has given me, and especially for Nila.

This year, she met Ricardo, a wonderful young man, in Asuncion, Paraguay. They have been dating for a while now and are planning to get married on February 28, 2015. Nila is excited and ready to soon begin a new chapter in her life with Ricardo. I am enjoying these times with Nila as she picks out colors and works on her wedding program. I believe she will be a wonderful wife and mother. Nila tells me that Anahi taught her indirectly about being a mom and loving unconditionally.

I thank God for Nila. I believe God will continue rewarding her for her service to Him and her family. 

Michael, a missionary friend leaves Paraguay after several years of service.

After several years of service, Michael and his wife Viviana are leaving Paraguay. Michael came as a single missionary to help Paraguayans learn about beekeeping and thus improve their income.

Not only did Michael serve with bees, but he taught at ICCI, our bible training school in 2011 and 2012. During that time he spotted a wonderful Christian girl, whom he fell in love, later married. They are both on their way to the U.S., to pursue God's next in their lives.

We worked together for a season, before and after the accident in 2012. Michael has worked closely with different families and groups. Among his works are the peanut sheller, which allowed locals to shell 50 times more peanuts per hour than doing it by hand. This peanut sheller was also duplicated in Puerto Barra, Naranjal, another location, where the Ache tribal group lives. 

Thank you, Michael. For more on Michael and his journey visit…Facebook at Projectwhynot

Norberto

Two years and six months

Last Saturday, October 18th, marked two years and six months since the accident. I believe I have come a long way since those first months when all I wanted is not to be around anybody and just cry and cry. I am experiencing healing as the months and years pass me by. 

Taking a break while in Asuncion and having fun

Somewhere in Colorado in 2006

Timothy helping with baking in our second home

This month, Timothy would almost be 9, while Julie would have turned 38 past July. My prayer lately has been: God, now what? How will you be using my story for a higher purpose? 

Here are some pictures that I treasure when I celebrate the life of the wonderful wife and son God allowed me to share for over a decade.

Christmas 2002. Just arrived in Paraguay

Julie with my Priscila and Nila

Extended family vacation in 2003

Trip to Arizona, Texas, furlough 2006. Having fun

I treasure the memories with Julie and Timothy and keep them tucked in my heart, knowing that many more good things lay ahead. 

Interruptions

If you are a missionary or someone that has lived outside the northern hemisphere, you can probably relate to the inconvenience of power and internet outages.

As I traveled over the past months in the USA and a few places in Europe, I never faced a power outage, and rarely even an internet shortage. Now I am back in Paraguay, and just this weekend I had to postpone one of my emails seven times. Internet comes and goes. With the rain and strong winds, we have had at least 10 power outages in the last two weeks.

Getting used to this new routine that’s so disruptive is taking me a little longer this time around. To maximize my time, I am starting a list of assignments for the phases of a typical day that includes power failures, internet outages, water shortages, knocks (many of them) at the front door, and unexpected services (speaking at funerals, filling in as a translator without notice).

Here is the list so far (Julie would be very proud of me):

·       

•       When the power is out: Work on fixing things outside, all manual work.
•       When internet is down: Work offline and rush to post during small windows.
•       When people aren’t knocking at the door: Get my house organized.
•       When it does not rain: Rush to hang the laundry outside.
•       During Anahi's naps: Rush to get concentration/thinking work done.
•       When the water is gone: Get water from a nearby pond for bucket showers.

I am seriously considering using solar power to keep some of my equipment running during the power outages. I am also considering putting a sign out front with visiting hours.

As I am writing, the clouds in the sky are telling me that rain and winds will probably shut down utilities in the next two hours . . . so I need to respond to urgent emails and get this post in before interruption #22 happens.

Another not-so-obvious interruption? Driving 7 hours to the capital city on Monday to send important mail sent out and do paperwork.

Norberto

Spring and Birthday at the House

Last week Anahi turned four. Her birthday coincides with the beginning of spring in the southern hemisphere. After our recent sabbatical we are excited about entering into a new season of our own.

On Sunday, September 21^, we spent a couple of hours celebrating Anahi. We sang, laughed, and blew out the candles, knowing that every new year and every new season is a wonderful gift from God. It was a sunny and ideal spring day. I ordered two cakes, one for our family birthday celebration and one to share with Anahi's friends at preschool.

As Anahi and I enter into a new year of life and embark on a new season, we are both in expectation of God's leading in our lives. While Anahi is growing into a beautiful, smart, godly little girl, I am moving toward beginning to minister, live, and embrace a new chapter and a new season in my life.

Happy spring to my southern friends, and a colorful fall to all of you north of the equator.

Norberto and Anahi Kurrle

Back to my roots

In 2011, Julie and I began saving money to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. Our hope was to leave the children with grandparents and go on a romantic, explorative trip of a lifetime. We made plans to see several European countries and visit the places from which our ancestors came. Under very different circumstances, I am on this trip now with Anahi.

Our trip of a lifetime started in Interlaken, Switzerland, two weeks ago. I had the privilege to participate at Breathe, a 10-day conference targeted at missionaries from around the world who are living in regions in conflict and going through major transition. Learning from missionaries working in the underground churches of closed countries encouraged my faith.

This week we stopped in Rotenberg, Germany. This was the home of my great-grandpa Wilhelm, who, at age 19 in 1891, left the small “dorf” (town) of Rotenberg to explore new lands to raise his family. Now we are moving northward to where my grandma’s roots were.

We have also visited the vineyards where some of my other relatives still make a living, as well as a World War II bunker in Rotenberg. Entering the cement structure, built under a rocky hill in 1943, when Allied forces where bombing Stuttgart, left me literally cold and emotionally startled. Older people vividly remember the horrific nights when they had to evacuate their homes and rush for shelter with their little ones.

I am now in Fritzlar, the place where my father, brother and sister went to school. A family in the church is helping me caring for Anahi. We go on walks in the evening and interact with locals who are always eager to share about their culture and lifestyle. 

Being away from my Paraguayan world for this season has been a blessing. Anahi and I have continued to bond. We have each other throughout this trip. I think another layer of healing is taking place as we explore new places and meet new people. 

Rest, regroup, refresh

I checked some stats on pastoral burnout and found that:

 ·  25% of pastors' wives see their husband's work schedule as a source of conflict.

·  33% felt burned out within their first five years of ministry.

·  75% report severe stress causing anguish, worry, depression, fear, and alienation.

·  80% of pastors say they have insufficient time with their spouse.

·  90% work more than 50 hours a week.

·  94% feel under pressure to have a perfect family.

After my tragedy two years ago, I am more intentional in creating space and healthy habits as I journey into this new chapter of my life. I remember talking with Julie only two months before our accident and agreeing that we needed to put a hold on the increasing responsibilities of ministry. At that point we had been working very hard for 10 years, only to stop for very short periods to rest. 

 

There was much to do, people to see and places to go, meetings to attend, and projects to oversee. We agreed that our next trip back to the States was going to be one to reassess and regroup. We were going to establish stricter boundaries in various areas of our life. 

As I write this I am coming out of seven weeks of having stopped all major activity and having spent quality hours with my daughter and by myself, jogging, reading, and reflecting. I have asked God, "What is next? How do you want to use my life and my tragedy to bless others?" 

 

I am feeling more refreshed, and I believe some important changes are taking place in my life. One of those is realizing that I will be turning 43 this month, and I need to conserve energy and keep my health in check as well as continue growing as a person. Exercising regularly, eating healthy, and getting on a learning track, these are factors I am seriously including in my decisions. 

Leading on Empty, by Wayne Cordero, has particularly spoken to me in this season. Leading out of abundance is something that apparently can be done. I have been reading about what the Bible says on taking a day off and on seasons to refresh—body, soul, and mind. 

I am grateful for the time I have been given to temporarily step away to rest, regroup, and refresh.

May 8th, my mother’s 70th birthday

My mother turned 70 years old last week. Born Tabitha Mary Meier, she grew up as a missionary kid in Brazil. She speaks four languages and plays the accordion, flute, piano, guitar, and clarinet. She attended college at Anderson University in Indiana and later earned her master's degree at Purdue University. She returned to Brazil to continue the missionary work that her parents started in 1935, and it was there, at a youth convention in 1968, that she met my dad, Martin Kurrle, a young man who had just returned from Germany and was initiating his ministry as a single pastor. They were meant for each other and were married a year later.

Today, after 45 years, four countries (the U.S., Argentina, Brazil, and Paraguay), five kids, and several grandkids, they continue loving each other and serving as missionaries in southern Paraguay. Together they have been involved, directly and indirectly, in starting 12 congregations, a school, and a radio station, which until recently was the only Christian station in southern Paraguay. They love the people of Paraguay and have given their lives to spread the good news of Christ in this nation.

As the years go by, mothers get frail, and we often forget their sleepless nights, the dirty diapers, the midnight feedings, the nursing hands, and the countless hours they poured into our childhood years. It’s easy to get busy and have little left for moms who, in spite of their age limitations, are still here to serve for God's purpose. During high school, college, and seminary I spent my time geographically far away from my family, but I thank God for the seasons during which I had the chance to live closer to my mother.

Today I love and admire my mother more than ever. She not only gave her all to us when we were kids but continues to do so by working so that others find hope in Christ. And I strongly sense that she is not done yet—retirement is simply not in her vocabulary. She is one of those people who has the gift of service, and is happy when she can help others accomplish their work. As she moves into her new decade, I believe she will keep on ticking and doing Kingdom work.

Thanks, Mom. Happy birthday, and happy Mother's Day.