As I begin my second year without my Julie and Timothy, I still look for answers, but I believe, with a new perspective. One Year and One month
went by since the accident. It’s been, the
longest, most painful and probably most physically aging year in my life. I
have never had to grieve before. I did not even know how to grieve, or never
thought about grieving.
Celebrating 100 with Grandma in Buenos Aires |
When my three day, just born, little brother died, we grieved for a few days, and life went on...
When Julie and I lost our second child due to an ectopic pregnancy, we had each other and had Timothy to find comfort. So life went on….
Timothy helping dad with construction |
Julie loved avocado |
You might ask how I am
doing, or what I am up to. Overall I am doing better, still crying at times,
still missing my Julie and Timothy, but knowing that I must get up and
gradually take steps into fully living again. One part of me wants to stay in grieve mode forever, while another side
of me, is pressed by the hope of eternity, and purposeful living. I have a mission
to complete on this earth. God kept Anahi and me around for a reason. Our quest
is to continue following his will and path for us.
In summary this is where I AM
1.
Relationship with God: stronger than ever. Beginning to trust a sovereign
God.
2.
In Ministry: helping the local church. Coordinating small projects. Learning new
skills
3.
Family circle: Learning to handle the role of being father-mother. Making sure Anahi
is well.
4.
Spiritual quest: wrestling with suffering as means for Christ work in our life's.
5.
Life journey: Moving away from focusing at my loss and regrets, and beginning to dream again.
6.
Life applications: Living more spontaneously. Choosing my
battles. Living by priorities
I like the way you put that last one, Norb. Living by priorities. It seems so much of what we do is by a decision, so I'm really proud of you to be able to say that you're deciding you must not stay forever in deep grieving mode, that you're deciding to live purposefully. I know there must be a wild roller coaster mix of good days and bad days, but you keep going and keep pressing into God. So many of us are still praying for you and Anahi and thank God for His faithfulness to hold you close while you work through these things. :)
ReplyDelete